North Korea, Best Korea!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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