So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
