did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
