I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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