ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
All I want is dick and wine.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
