Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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