I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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