Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
