His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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