we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
