We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
