thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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