i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
