im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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