he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
