if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
