Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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