shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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