I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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