imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
