how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
