whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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