Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He passed out mid-signature
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
