My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
