Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
