whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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