it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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