I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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