That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
