Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
