i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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