She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
