I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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