I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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