that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
