I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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