I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
