I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
