i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize