8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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