If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
