when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize