You work out of a Hotel?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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