Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
