Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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