That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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