Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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