Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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