Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
