My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
