If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
