so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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