I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
