The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
