if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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