Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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