Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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