I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize