I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
