What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
